Step Four: Keep Some Perspective.

In order to help encourage more online discussion about the four basic steps for managing ADHD that we discussed at our 8/10/10 meeting, I'm creating separate blog entries for each of them, focusing on each specific topic and elaborating a little bit. Hopefully this is helpful for the group.

ADHD is not like the chicken pox. You don't "get" ADHD somewhere along the road of life; you're born with it. And if you're reading this now, you've obviously survived the impact of it thus far; it's nothing new...though it may be a new area of emphasis as you work on improving your overall performance or quality of life.

Like dozens of other web sites, we could list dozens of highly successful famous people who either achieved their success despite ADHD or who attribute part of their success to their ADHD. That's fun, and maybe a bit inspiring on some level, but to me that's like saying "Lance Armstrong is a middle-aged white guy just like you, Ed!" -- as if to imply that just because Lance and I share a couple of characteristics, I should aspire to be a 7-time Tour De France champion. Ain't. Gonna. Happen.

When I try to keep perspective on the impact of ADHD in my life, I try to personalize it more than that. Forget about the comedians, CEOs and movie stars with ADHD. Looking back over my own life, what obstacles have I overcome even when ADHD was a barrier? What accomplishments have I achieved where the impact of ADHD probably benefitted me? Well...I earned a Master's Degree; not an exactly ADHD-friendly pursuit. and I've had some success with creative writing and public speaking, where I think the energy and stream-of-consciousness thought process that accompany ADHD were assets.

I'll never be a millionaire. Having ADHD probably hurts my chances of achieving a goal like that but, let's be real, I can hardly lay the full blame of my non-millionaire-ness at the feet of my ADHD. There are also variables like general intelligence, level of ambition and tolerance for risk that play much larger roles in my having a more modest lifestyle.

So: Perspective. How do you keep yours?

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Step Three: Experiment

1. In order to help encourage more online discussion about the four basic steps for managing ADHD that we discussed at our 8/10/10 meeting, I'm creating separate blog entries for each of them, focusing on each specific topic and elaborating a little bit. Hopefully this is helpful for the group.
   
   

I seriously doubt there's ever been a person with ADHD who was able to completely, satisfactorily manage all of the symptoms of his or her ADHD through one single change, e.g. starting a medication or starting using a calendar and to-do list.

We're all far too busy and complicated for it ever to be that easy. In reality, most of us require a range of tools to keep our ADHD in check and function at our best: some medication, some behavioral/lifestyle changes, some tools or technologies, possibly counseling or support group assistance, etc.

With dozens of medications that can be used at different dosages, at different times of day and in different combinations with each other, One could spend months or years trying to find the optimal "cocktail" of medicine to help them.

Similarly, there are a seemingly endless array of diet, exercise, stress management, organization skill and other choices that a person can test out in a variety of combinations, with new ones being invented daily.

So how can one experiment safely, effectively and efficiently?

I'll open that question up to the Comments section, but I'd like to share a couple of my own thoughts to get things started:

1. Journal about what you tried. As the saying goes, "You can't manage what you can't measure." If you're not tracking which interentions you've tried (and in which combinations), you'll never be able to identify the most and least effective of them.
2. Change one variable at a time. If you're about to try a new medicine, don't choose that same moment to switch to an entirely new calendar/to-do list setup. If you change multiple variables, it's harder to determine which changes had what effect.
3. Think about timing. For example: As a student, fool around with small, easy, low-risk experiments that aren't likely to greatly upset your performance if they don't go well. Save bigger, riskier experiments for summer break.
4. Keep in mind the external variables. We as individuals are constantly changing, as is our external environment. A medicine that wasn't helpful when a person weighed 240 pounds might be much more effective if they've recently dropped to 190 pounds. An exercise program that never really worked out when you were dealing with your newborn child might be a better option now that the child is off to school each day. You get the idea.
   
   What experiments have you tried?
   
   What do you do to experiment safely, effectively and efficiently?

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Step Two: Learn.

In order to help encourage more online discussion about the four basic steps for managing ADHD that we discussed at our 8/10/10 meeting, I'm creating separate blog entries for each of them, focusing on each specific topic and elaborating a little bit. Hopefully this is helpful for the group.

As I shared in the last entry, About a year ago we added a "New to ADHD? Start Here." page where first-timers could start to explore how to more effectively manage ADHD.

The second step I listed was "Learn." There is no shortage of information available online, at libraries and through groups like FOCUS+ to help people educate themselves on the range of options available for managing ADHD. That knowledge empowers people to take greater control over the situation.

Learning about ADHD isn't a one-time-thing, however. ADHD is a moving target; as we age and move through different phases of our lives, it impacts us differently and we have different internal and external resources available to us to deal with it. Also, there are constant advances in the types of medications available as well as counseling techniques.

My question to you is: Once you've scoured the internet and flipped through every ADHD-related book you can find at the local library or Barnes & Noble, what have you found to be useful in continuing to uncover new information? Similarly, what are some "dead ends" you've encountered that you might steer others away from?

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Step One: Relax.

In order to help encourage more online discussion about the four basic steps for managing ADHD that we discussed at our 8/10/10 meeting, I'm creating separate blog entries for each of them, focusing on each specific topic and elaborating a little bit. Hopefully this is helpful for the group.

About a year ago I helped to update the FOCUS+ web site and in response to suggestions from a few group members, we added a "New to ADHD? Start Here." page where first-timers could start to "get their bearings" as they began to explore how to more effectively manage living with ADHD themselves, or living with a loved one who had ADHD.

The first step I listed was "Relax." In the context that I was writing at the time, I just wanted to remind people that they weren't facing some new crisis -- If someone has ADHD, they were born with it. The only real change was that now with a diagnosis of ADHD they were in a better position to try things to manage their ADHD symptoms.

However, at our August 2010 FOCUS+ meeting, the notion of "Relax" was revisited in a different context. We all know that when a person is physically and mentally calm and relaxed, they are more perceptive, more effective critical thinkers and more creative...in short, they think and function far better than when they're in a stressed, "fight or flight" state. (Don't believe me? Check out these articles: Rational Positive Thinking, The Relaxation Response: reducing stress and improving cognition in healthy aging adults), Relaxation Techniques to Reduce ADD Symptoms)

As I took notes at our meeting, I saw a "continuum" of relaxation techniques ranging from what might be called "soft" or "passive techniques such as visualization or meditation to "hard" or "active" techniques like engaging in high-effort, high-risk athletic activities such as martial arts. Which ones work best for each of us depends on a lot of things, obviously -- our general temperments and outlooks on life, our physical health, how much time we have to explore these things, etc.

Some of the "passive" techniques we discussed included: prayer, visualization, meditation and quite activities like painting. "Passive" probably isn't the best word for these activities as they require effort and focus, but relative to other options we discussed, they're more quiet, tranquil and mental in nature as opposed to active and physical.

The "active" techniques we discussed included high-concentration and/or high-effort/high-risk activities like mountain biking and martial arts. The common theme among these activities is that they require a person to totally live in the moment and (therefore) let go of any anxiety-producing thoughts. Mountain-biking down a steep, narrow, rocky trail at high speed is the absolute wrong time to start ruminating about how much you're struggling at work; that lapse in concentration will probably result in you crashing your bike and getting hurt! Even "active" activities without the danger element such as golf, yoga and playing an instrument still require one's full focus to perform well, which at least temporarily forces a person to live in the moment and push out any other distracting thoughts.

Here are some questions to weigh in on with your experience:

• Do you tend to have the best results from the "soft" types of relaxation techniques or the more "active" ones? Why?


• Do you have any personal relaxation techniques not listed here that
  you'd recommend? Cross-stitching? Fly fishing? Writing annoyingly long and poorly laid out blog entries with gratuitous graphics inserted in them?


• Do you notice the difference in how well you manage your ADHD symptoms
  between when you're anxious/stressed/wound up and when you're physically and mentally calm?

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FOCUS+ August 10, 2010 Meeting Notes

The FOCUS+ support group had its first post-summer-break meeting on 8/10/2010 at Christ Memorial Church. The following is a summary of the meeting discussion:

This is the beginning of the 6th year of FOCUS+!
Where do we go from here? Sub groups? Different locations? Status quo? More speakers? More sharing? Leverage Blog more?

The group concensus was that speakers were helpful and we should continue to invite them, but that the core value of the FOCUS+ group is in the group exchanges with one another.

September is National ADHD Week. Ideas to acknowledge this?
1. Email Ruth (revenhouse@hotmail.com) with ideas.
2. Panel discussion on neurofeedback pros and cons?

Quote of the meeting:

“Self Awareness is the core component of managing ADHD.”

Ruth Evenhouse facilitated a discussion about the four “big picture” strategies from the FOCUS+ web site for managing and living with ADHD; the group offered their own experiences and ideas on each strategy:


Relax. It’s a well-established fact that when we’re physically calm, we’re mentally the most creative, perceptive and flexible. What methods do you use to help yourself relax/calm down?

1. Relaxation techniques
   A. Progressive Muscle Relaxation
   B. Deep Breathing
2. Meditiation techniques
   A. Meditation
   B. Visualization
   C. Prayer
3. “Hobby” techniques
   A. Listen to/play music
   B. Yoga
   C. Exercise
   D. “Zen” types of sports activities like archery and golf
4. Behavioral techniues
   A. Take a break from stressful situation; go for a walk
   B. Journal. Writing down things that you’re ruminating about and are generating anxiety can help to “let go” of them mentally
   C. Support Groups. Meeting and interacting with other people who face similar challenges to your own can help to feel less isolated.
   
   Learn. Learning more about ADHD, treatment options – and just as importantly, learning more about yourself – can be empowering and help identify new options to explore.
   
   1. Reading
   
   2. Conferences/Presenters
   
   3. Internet
   
   4. Learn from your mistakes.
   
   5. Learn that it’s okay to make mistakes…everyone does.
   
   Experiment. Find out which solutions, or more realistically, which combinations of solutions, work best for you.
   
   1. “Cognitive Kinestetics” activities…activities that involve repetition, focus ad muscle memory, are beneficial for relaxation and for developing improved focus and concentration. Examples include physically challenging (and often with an element of danger) activities like figure skating, downhills skiing, mountain biking and martial arts are enjoyable and require your full attention. The risk element motivates you to “live in the moment” and perform the activity to avoid potentially getting inured.
   
   2. Organizational/planning techiques
   A. Scheduling “concentration” activities around the times of day when you’re most focused
   B. Maintaining journals,calendars and to do lists
   C. Keep goals realistic and achievable
   D. Focus on the priority tasks first; don’t use low-priority tasks as an excuse for procrastination.
   E. Learn starting with the last step and working backward to the beginning
   F. Plan starting with the last step and working backward to the beginning
   G. Develop mutual accountability / mutual support arrangements for things like exercise, relaxation practice, etc. with another person
   H. Sample different activities, e.g. trying Wii Games, Wii Active Fit, Wii Sports,
   I. Revisit on communication
   1. Compassionate Communication; Refocus on empathy, "seek first to understand" to help with communication.
   2. Are you picking the best time and place to communicate with the other person?
   3. When working for someone or as part of a team, get clarification on what the priorities are.
   J. Neurofeedback, e.g. the NeuroCore program
   K. Change or control your environment (eliminate distraction, create ‘always visible” reminders, set up a plan where important things (like car keys) are “pre staged” in the same places every time, etc.
   L. We all have “to do” lists, but do we have “don’t do” lists? Half of improving things is adding new behaviors; the other half is ceasing current, counterproductive behaviors.
   
   Keep some perspective. ADHD is a situational disorder. There are times when it's an impairment and times when it's an asset.
   
   1. ADHD is also an “interest-based” disorder; we focus best on the things we’re most interested in.
   
   2. Keep in mind the positive attributes shared by most people with ADHD: empathy/compassion, creativity/problem-solving, humor, rapid “big picture” analysis
   
   3. As part of the Keep Some Perspective discussion, three new basic strategies were suggested…and rejected  (In other words, keep a sense of humor!)
   A. Find a Scapegoat - How do you transfer the blame for your mistakes to other people in a convincing way?
   B. Deny - What methods do you use to ignore the negative impact of ADHD on your life?
   C. Retaliate - How do you exact revenge against people who have angered you because of your ADHD?
   
   The conversation raised several other common challenges and considerations for addressing them:
   
   Many of us continue to put off projects until the last minute. Some like the excitement and challenge of the time pressure, others find that scrambling at the last minute “absolves” them of making incorrect choices or mistakes that they’d feel accountable for if they had more time to think through the project more thoroughly (but still made mistakes).
   
   Many of us are terrible at estimating time and anxious when assigned an arbitrary time frame to do something.
   
   “What” (am I doing) is a more helpful question than “Why” (am I doing it)
   
   Questions about the discussion? Anything we missed in our notes? Anything you'd like to add to the discussion? Jump in! We're anxious to hear from you.
   
   Next Meeting: Tuesday, September 14, 6:30PM, Christ Memorial Church, Holland. Details to follow.
   
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